I could not sleep, so I read all of our Facebook messages, then I ran into this one.
I’m so scared of what will come tomorrow. I tried to be the brave one, and it didn’t work. No matter how much I tried nothing worked.
I’ve never felt like a prisoner, one that can’t do anything but wait in his cage to be released. I know I won’t be released. That makes me sad.
After tomorrow no words will ever be shared again, I’ve never felt so much fear.
All I can do is stare at this, where it all started.-
Heyyyyyyy Arc, can I ask you a serious question?
Yup what’s up?
Mmm is now a good time? You aren’t working or doing anything?
Not on a Sunday. Haha are you trying to scare me? Lol
Awe no I hope not. I just have something on my mind that I need to ask.
Lol ask already then.
Mmmm ok. :|
I want you to be 100% honest, it doesn’t matter how I feel I just want the truth ok?
And I’m sorry for putting you in this position, I really am. I just need to know.
I like you, a lot and have for quite some time. Which I think you sorta know that, but sometimes it seems like you might feel the same way but I’m never sure. I just don’t want to try to guess anymore. I love you to death and you are a great friend but I am always feeling something more and I just need to know if you feel the same way, or its just me. If you dont thats fine, I’ll leave it at that. I understand, but I need to know how you feel so I can stop holding on to something that is never going to happen. All i need is a simple yes or no, you dont have to explain or anything if you dont want to. Just please be honest with me. & I am sorry for putting you in this awkward situation. I hope it doesn’t scare you or make you uncomfortable.
& hopefully doesn’t ruin us being friends.
I like you a lot Kelsey, and I feel the same way. I have always loved you, I never really said it because I didn’t think it would change anything if I did. And I still don’t think it will. We are practically strangers. I would love for something to happen but were so far apart. It would be horrible if we meet and didn’t find what we expected you know. It seems difficult to explain. I do love you though, I just don’t know what to do about it.
I know. But i also know I never felt for anyone the way I feel about you. And i just cant live with not telling you how I feel. I don’t know what to do. I know were practically strangers, but i don’t know why i feel closer to you than the people who have known me since i was a kid and i get to see everyday. You dont have to think about it today or anything or make any decisions I’m not expecting that. I’ll just let you know I’m willing to take that risk. Even if its difficult.
the decision to like you? That one was already made. I do. I think about it every time I write and speak to you. I want to be your boyfriend and well see where it goes from there, if you whant to.
I meant the decision to take it to the next step.
I think i would like that very much. I think we should also work on communicating a little better. It took me over a year to get the courage to say that to you. :|
Ah but you are always stuck being the brave one
I’ll be the brave one next time lol and yea communication would be nice.
There will be no method to my madness. From now on I will stop thinking about consequences to my actions. Whatever comes will come. I am tired of being stuck in regret.
I’m sorry for ruining your life, I shouldn’t have made you love me.
Just be happy, do that for me and I will trust you. I love you enough to step aside and let you be happy. I never wanted to give up, but I have no choice. I don’t want you to be miserable because of me. Don’t worry about me, please be happy. Even though I won’t be there to see it. Be happy my love.
Whats the worst thing I can say?
A soul, I believe souls communicate without words. When our bodies where silent, whether they where intertwined or miles away.. When we where silent, we knew we were still there for each other.. That was our souls communicating. That’s our souls giving us comfort that we are still there. The language our souls spoke was love. I remember every conversation our souls had. Arc-
"There is nothing better on this earth than a soul you can connect with on every level."
The lil Wayne verse.
I can hear your heart. Crying out for me.
This song makes me so sad, but at the same times I love it, the meaning of it and the lyrics. Its just hard do describe.
Its hurts that things had to be this way. Whatever you decide. I hope its because you know it will make you happy. Once again I’ll put aside my needs.
If my happiness doesn’t mean shit to me, then why would I expected to mean anything to you when I placed it on your hands?
Now you think that your relationship with him is going to work, and because of that you are once again throwing me to the side.
I can’t do that anymore, you always treat me like the second option and I’m finally at the edge of breaking.. Again.
I want us to be friends and go back to where things were. But I don’t trust you not to hurt me again.
If you want us to be friends, and if you want me in your life then you will keep your word. All I ask is that you keep your word, I’m not making you chose between him and I. I just need to trust you.
I won’t force you to do it, I hate feeling like I’m forcing you to be honest with me. That’s why I need to know that I can trust you. When you say something I want to trust it, not think that you will change your mind the next day like you always do. Friendship without trust is meaningless.
If you value me as a friend, want me to trust you, and whant me to be part of your life. Keep your word. If you can’t, if my friendship means nothing to you.. then no one will be more sorry than I.
With this I am gambling the friendship of the only person I love, the only person I’ve ever trusted. My best friend.
You love two people, and that is not right. Things don’t work that way..
If your relationship with him works out then I am happy for you. I wish you the best, I’m glad you found what makes you happy.